Introducing the Pink Party of Canada
Hello friends. Bill here.
Yes, that Bill. Pink. Unicorn. Professional meeting enthusiast.
I've been watching Canadian politics for a while (between snacks and mascot duties), and I say, Bill, we can do better. And maybe more snacks too.
So I made a new party. The Pink Party of Canada. Us unicorns have a goal and it is easy.
Keep Canada sound, well-governed ... and slightly magical.
Why Pink (Very important question)
People ask me, “Bill, why pink?”
And I say: why not pink??
Pink is for compassion.
Pink is for joy.
Pink is for courage, but not shouty courage… the calm, steady kind.
Politics has too much grey suits and finger pointing. Not enough kindness. Not enough listening. Not enough… sparkle (the responsible kind).
Also, pink looks very good on me. This is not main reason. But it is a reason.
What Unicorns Believe
(the hoomans might call it Core Values
Get everybody at the table Inclusivity
No hiding things (stop putting the more important stuff on page 78 of a 99 pg document. Is was boring anyway. No one read to the end anyway. Transparency
Be nice (Unicorns love all)
I leared this term from @bosspat. She goes on about being efficient.
Practical Magic (the good kind)
Less noise. More kindness. Better governance.
I say this lots of times. I saw it to everyone in a meeting.
1. The Voting Thing (Why do hoomans have such a confusings ways)
Okay. Hoomans, have you ever watched you vote?
You go to this special place, all line up, do this thing with a pieces of paper behind a little screen, everyone looks serious and then go away and wait.
On group wins but not everyone voted for that group and that group decides everyting. That's not the way unicorns do stuff.
This feels… unmagical. .
In unicorn land (very advanced governance system), if many unicorns have different ideas, we… listen to them. We don’t just say:
“Sorry, fastest unicorn wins, now go home.”
So I think maybe Canada needs to try something like:
Everyone gets a say that actually shows up in the final result
Not perfect system (nothing is, except maybe butter tarts), but better than current “winner takes literally all the muffins.”
Also I would like:
- More working together
- Less yelling across rooms
- And someone, please, keeping track of what was actually decided
Because I watch Question Period and I say:
“What is even the action item here??”
2. Build Better Things.
Hoomans like to build things, roads, buildings, places to sit.
Some things are very good. Some things are. . . hmm . . . how to say politely . . .confusing.
Why are some parks not nice places to visit.
What are some roads not safe for bikes (and unicorns).
So, I think we should build places that make hoomans and us happy.
And also:
- Spaces for communities
- Libraries (I like to read. Yes, unicorns read, too)
- Glitter but made to biodegradable glitter standards
- Safe parks and path for cyclists and unicorns alike
And more mascots like me. Mascots improve how everybody feels. I'm proof.
3. The "Just Say the Thing" Rule
Sometimes I watch politicians answer questions.
Mostly, it is that they don't answer questions.
It goes like this:
Me: “You promised to give free snacks to everyone during meetings. Why have we not gotten our snacks yet?
Politician: “The latest economic data show that we are the leading producer of oil.”
NO.
No no no.
This is not an answer.
So I suggest simple rule:
If the question is a yes-or-no answer, say Yes or No.
If you do not have the answer, then say "I don't know."
But never, never, never launch in to random rant on a very different subject. If I ask about snacks I want an answer about snacks.
No more spinning, dancing over the question and obfuscating (@bossPat taught me that word. I'm not sure what it means but I like using it to show that I am sophisticated unicorn.
4. Snacks (Very important)
Listen carefully.
Meetings without snacks… go poorly.
This is not an opinion. This is something I learned from going to meetings with @bossPat.
Tired hoomans = grumpy decisions
Hungry hoomans = very grumpy decisions
But give hoomans:
Coffee
Muffin
Cookies or maybe a butter tart.
Because good decisions require good snacks.
Suddenly:
- Better ideas
- Less arguing
- More smiling
Better snacks = Better meetings.
5. Use Words than Unicorns Understand
I try to read some government documents.
I am a smart unicorn. I read many things.
Still… sometimes I get to page 3 and I say:
“What is this even saying??”
Big words. Long sentences. Many acronyms. No explanation.
It feels like a puzzle. But not a fun puzzle.
So I suggest:
Write things so normal hoomans can understand them.
If Me (Bill) cannot understand… rewrite.
Also:
Explain acronyms (why so many letters??)
Use real words
Shorter sentences (like this one. See? Nice.)
Transparency is not just “we posted it somewhere.”
It is “people can actually understand it.”
6. Looking after the Money
This part is serious face.
Just because we like pink and magic does not mean we throw coins everywhere.
No. We spend carefully. Thoughtfully.
Because it is not government money.
It is our money (and Hoomans too).
So:
Say what you will spend
Say why
Show what happened after
And maybe… fewer mysterious projects where no one knows:
who asked for it
what it did
where it went
This confuses Bill.
7. Take care of Mother Earch
I spend time outside. Trees are friends.
Air is nice. Water is also nice.
So when I see hoomans arguing instead of fixing things, I feel… concerned unicorn feelings.
Maybe we do more:
Plant trees
Protect spaces
Make cleaner ways to move around
Not because it sounds good in speech…
But because… you know… we live here.
Even unicorns notice this.
8. Homes for All
Many hoomans cannot find a good place to live.
Or it is too expensive. Or too small. Or too stressful.
This does not make sense to me.
Hoomans work. Hoomans contribute.
Hoomans should have place to live that is… reasonable.
So I say:
Let’s make housing make sense again.
Less “maybe someday”
More “you can live here now”
Because stability = better lives = better communities = better meetings (everything connects, trust me)
9. Meetings that Work (my fav topic)
Ah yes. Meetings. I have watched many. MANY.
Some are good. Some… drift like a cloud with no direction.
So I say:
Meetings should lead to decisions.
Decisions should lead to actions.
Actions should not disappear into a magical void.
Simple system.
Also:
Have a clear agenda
Know what was decided
Follow up (this is where hoomans struggle, I observe closely)
If no one remembers decision later…
Did the meeting even happen??
10. The Be Nice Policy
Okay. Final idea. Very bold.
What if… people were just… nicer? Not fake nice. Real nice.
You can disagree without: yelling, insulting, making everything dramatic
I see hoomans sometimes treat politics like… battle arena.
But it is actually:
shared problem solving
So yes. Be Nice Policy.
Firm. Respectful. Calm.
Also makes meetings shorter. Bonus.